Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Brotherly love,or is it really!!!!

Growing up me and my brothers were very close although we all did our own thing,and had our own friends.We all come from the same mother although we all have different fathers,but all raised by that same woman,our mother.My mom gave birth to three boys,and her three boys had all girls until I broke the cycle with the first boy.Her grandchildren are five girls and one boy.Me and my brothers did alot together as kids,some good and some bad.We all had a hard life coming up,and going through most struggles that most poor family's go through.My moms had always told us as kids the we are all we have,and to love and respect each other always.As all siblings we had alot fights between us,but in the end we were still brothers.I'd be a fool if I said that I don't love them,and if they felt that I didn't,I would asure them that I do.But at the sametime I find that things started to change as we had gotten older,for reasons that are unknown to me to this day.Me and my oldest brother are madd cool as it should be,now me and my youngest is a different story all together.He has changed so much towards me that it's unreal,and I don't really understand it.That's my brother and I love him very much,but at the sametime being raised as I have,to be out spoken,to voice my thoughts,stand my ground,and not be an ass kisser.I don't try to understand what the problem is,I just pretty much be me.Because of the fact that I don't feel toward him what he feels about me,I pay it no mind.I still come around to holla at him,say what's up or whatever,but still plainly see that he wishes that I wasn't there,which is cool,because as I said I don't care how he feels about me.In my eyes you are still my brother and I don't have to act as stupid as he is.One day I just grabbed his ass up and hugged him and told him that I loved him just to fuck with his ass,that's just the kind of brother I am.Hahahahahaha,you should've saw the look on his face,he didn't know what to fuckin do.When him and my oldest brother talk about me,I'm told that he's always like fuck that nigga Charlie I don't fuck with that nigga.(~sigh~)Wow it's like that,what's really going on?Sounds alittle like hate to me because saying shit like that can't be love.LOL.I think the nigga got issues personnelly.So I told him that he don't have to worry about having to fuck with me or not,because I ain't fuckin with him at all.We are too damn old for that kiddie type shit anyway,and I have to much that I'm trying to do in my life to be worried about dumb shit like that.And my oldest brother is like yo,I get sick of hearing him talk that way about you,yall are both my brothers,and I don't want to hear one talk about the other like that.I'm like yo,I don't know what his problem is, which I don't,but that's him...I'm good.It's like I was the first to leave home,leaving Fla. and going back to NY for like 12-13 years,rarely calling home,never calling about problems that I may have been going through,never calling for money,nothing.Whatever I was going through,I went through it on my own.Life is to short to waste time on bullshit,we all we got,and that may not mean much to him,but it means a hellva lot to me.And I can't, no I won't, keep trying to be a brother to you and you're not trying to be one to me,blood or no blood.I don't give a fuck like you don't give a fuck.I pray for you kid,that you work whatever you feel inside,out!But I ain't on that type of time with you,you on some other shit that only you know about.Life can keep you on some bullshit,if you let it!

1 comment:

  1. I had 4 half sisters and 2 half brothers, 3 of those sisters and the oldest brother, when I was little they, called me names and made up shit on me. Or said I was adopted, look like a boy, should've been a boy, etc. My mother would always tell them they were jealous of me because I was an over acheiver. [Valedictorian in Kindergarten and published at age 5]. I was an acheiver and still am. But that only made them exclude me more, when she said that. When I got to be 17 and was a national figure in basketball, I told people that I was an only child. they beleived it because no family came to see me accept honors, win championships or any of that, except my mother and her husband. I had a talk with my mother 6 weeks before she died. I talked to her about all the things that I had grown up around and she really told me shit that she had held back for my whole life. She told me that if she died before her husband, I didn't have to continue on with any of them. She died in 2001. One of those sisters died and that oldest brother too [2008&2007]. I felt nothing because I never had any emotional bond with them, so i didn't feel a lose when they died. Nor did I attend the funerals. They never claimed me. So, since 2006, I have lived my life as an only child. My stress is gone. I don't even drink beer anymore. When back then, I had to have at least 6 before going around them. In my right mind, I never would have been in their company. Because I have high self esteem. It's weird how, what you grow up around, dictates how you pick mates and friends, in life. Because my ex and all of my fake ass friends, had low self esteem just like those halfs did and eventually, they talked about me too.

    I said all of that to say, if you ever teased him, then leave him be. You brought it on yourself. If you didn't tease him or exclude him, then he may have low self esteem and may be jealous of you. I won't be praying for those 2 halves that's still living. I never understood that praying for someone who means me harm. I guess I'm not brainwashed into religion to the point where I pray for my enemies and give up a percentage of my earnings to someone who says he has a better way of communicating with my God, then I do. And he has to take my money to talk to God for me. Hell to the nah. lmao I tell the brother and sis thats still in my life that they get to live their lives, how they want and I'm going to do the same. If they can't handle me not fucking with mama's husband and those other 2 fake witches, then they don't have to deal with me. But I will never go back around anyone who wished for my downfall. And I continue to acheive and do shit, so I know they've got a whole new hate level. I'm doing damn good and so are my boys. That's how it's going to be. I get more love from you guys online then I got from them. So what does that tell you? lol