Thursday, November 5, 2009

I'm done!




I've learned alot about myself ,and what I want and don't want for my life.I feel that for one, life is too short to waste time with someone that is not loving you,or treating you the way you feel you want to be treated,and if you ain't really feelin that person like you should,I think that you should tell them.Why be in a relationship with a person you are not feelin,it's a waste of time.2-5 years of wasted time with a person that you ain't really feeling or she you for that matter,for what.And all that yelling and hollaing at each other is dead to me,I mean I know that you may not always agree on things,but all that yelling and shit takes to much damn energe and I want no parts of it. Now I've been married 3 x's and have not really been happy in either,which help's me to now realize that marriage is just not for me.It's too much work and at my age,I just don't have the patients or tolerance for shit anymore,dumb shit bothers me the most.I've been told a few times that I'm going to be a lonely old man,and if that is so,then I'd rather be that,then to try and put up with someones bullshit,and don't get me wrong,I'm not saying that I'm all that or don't have issues myself,because I do.I like things to be a surtain way,there's alot of things that I like to do that you may not agree with,I like to have fun laugh,or sometimes I just want to chill and say and do nothing.We all have some issues about ourselfs,ain't no one person perfect,and by all means I am not!But I can deal with my bullshit,it's your bullshit that may not fly so well with me.And see I'm a very straight up person so you may not like what I have to say half the time,not saying that I'm a negative person or have negative things to say,but when you are an outspoken person I find that some people can't take it,but then there are alot of people that love it.Either way I am who I am,like it or not,and I'm to damn old and set in my ways to change,which means I ain't changing.Now me being in a serious relationship,I go full circle and do what I'm suppose to as a husband,a father,a provider, as a man.It's just that I'm more happy being by myself,then being married,after doing it the first two times,and going through hell with them,I guess I'm just burned out with marriage and will not ever,do it again,I'm done!I don't even really want to date,I just want to chill and stay to myself for a min.You know get to know me alittle more, I mean people say that I'm going to be lonely and all that,but there's always someone when it comes to me,It's been that way my whole life,but now I just want to leave it at that,no marriage.I'm starting to believe that you don't have to be married to be happy,marriage is just something to do,to make your partner feel more comfortable.But in all honesty it sucks,so if you want it,hey,more power to you,just don't bring that shit over here!I'm a loner,and been that way my whole life,I like to come and go as I please,with no say so as to where I've been or what I was doing.Sometimes I like to not say a word if I don't want to,rather then have to explain why I'm not talking or what be the matter.When you get married all that changes,after awhile the sex stops,at times you don't even speak to each other,you stop going places together or don't want to go anywhere together.I can't speak for everybody,or everyones marriage just mine,and how I feel about it.I'm done,I've out grown it,or the need to want to do it again.If i'm ment to be by myself,then so be it,I will take it as it comes.And if someone happens to fall for me and wants to marry,well then that's their mistake,because I'm not doing it!I can do bad all by myself and don't need any help.I'm not trying to be mean,or hurt anyone,I'm just being true to me and how I feel about it,for some it's great,and can last many years without a hitch,and there are some who want to be married and look forward to that day.And for those I say do it,one must see what it is like to be,but choose wisely as to who you pick as your partner,and make sure it is also what he/or she wants.And don't fight over the little things,or be petty with one another.Work together as a team,and not just for your own selfish reasons,be true to one another and for one another,and not against one another.Love who you're with,and they should do the same to you,but don't be so much in love that you are blinded by what goes on that you may not see.And don't just think that something is going on,just be steady all things that are in the dark will soon come to light.Grow with one another and learn one another,that way you may be that strong backbone that is needed when and if times get hard for one of you.Talk to one another,that they may know what is on your mind and have a better understanding of you and what you want or need.And if you love each other,fight for each other and that love that you both share for each other,when one may be unsure of it.These are just a few things that I've learned over the years while being married just to name a few.It just ain't for me anymore,I past some of what I learned on to you,and hope that it goes well for you,but as for me.....shit I'm done!


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