Sunday, October 11, 2009
Love Hates me!!!
Why do you hate me so,is it because of how I left you,how I could no longer take your foolish and childish ways. Or how I got tired of trying to make it work,when you didn't really want it to or didn't even care. When we met for the first time,I saw in you so much potential,I had so much belief, in how and what we could have been for one another. When we first hugged,our first kiss,how we made love,and all the happiness we felt in our hearts
just knowing that we would be together.All the late night talks,the laughter we shared,the story's we told each other,the dreams we had,now all gone.I once thought to myself,if I just treat her right,and love her strong,and do all that a man should for the woman he loves,we would be alright,and our love would last long.But you didn't see it that way,you saw some thing else,and made it out to be more then what it was.I would've giving you the world if I could,because that's how much you meant to me,I would've done anything for you,all you had to do was just ask.But you didn't see what I saw,you saw some thing else,some thing that I failed to see.You saw me as trying to be your father,when all I tried to do is guide you.You saw me as criticizing,when I tried to help or help you understand.You saw me as a monster,when that monster was really you.You let that monster control you,in everything you do.I would ask you for the simplest things,but you acted as if it was a task,and when you really didn't want to do it, you showed me your ass.What did I do to make you hate me so,is it the many times I made you pack your things and go.I would rather you leave then to stay and keep pushing,scratching my face while all the neighbors are looking. You yelling and screaming at the top of your lungs,trying to make a seen so the cop would come.Did you really even love me at all,or were you just trying to use me for the things that I was willing to to give you anyway.What I gave was from the heart,not to return at some later date.Things you didn't have and I knew you needed or never had.Maybe you felt that you were using me,or that you hit the jack pot when you met me,and if so you played yourself.God don't like ugly,and what you do to others will come back around. Now about our son,why do you feel the need to keep him from me,do you really think that you are hurting me...because you're not!Oh but it bothers the hell out of me,that you would stoop so low.That you would try and let our son grow up without a father,only to be like the millions of other young men that don't have a father in their life's.No you're not hurting me,you're hurting him,and you think that,that's the right thing to do,no it may not affect him now,but in the long run it will.And what's really sad is you know that I'm a good father,a positive rolemodel,spend time with him,play with him,pay my Child support,and above all love him more then life.But because you're angry with me and what we had,that you would try to keep him from me.Now what do that say about you?I can understand if I did none of these things for him,for you to be this way,but I do all of that and more.While you're sitting here playing with our sons life,knowing that he needs more then anything, a male figure,me in his life.What are you so angry about,is it the fact that you loss a good thing,just because you didn't feel the need to want to do right. Is it because you still have feeling for me and they won't go away like you want them to,or because every single time you look into our son face you see me.What is it that makes you so angry,that you would try to keep him from me.Because those are the only reasonable reasons that I can think of.You can't say that I didn't treat you right,because we both know that I did.So what is it?You know that I'm not going to let it end like this,and that I will fight you tooth and nail just to be apart of his life...you do know that right,yeah you know that,you play crazy if you want too. But I shouldn't even have to go through this,you got your life and I have mine,and I don't bother you,but to see my son or spend time with him,so what's the problem.Do you know,because I sure as hell don't.But you know me and how I am about my children,DO NOT PUSH ME WHEN IT COME TO MY KIDS!Life's little curve balls will sometimes get you in trouble....real talk!