Friday, August 21, 2009

The playa!!

I grew up in New York City's Harlem,uptown where it all started.I never met my father because he died two months before I was born.He was a Jazz player for Count Bassie,and Duke Ellington,he played the drums.My mom always had good things to say about him,infact she loved him very much as well as he her.I am 40 years old and she still talks about him til this day.Anyway,from a child hearing all these good things about him,I put in my mind,that I was going to try and be somewhat like him.She always told me how good he was to her,and how well he treated her,how he acted around her and so on.You see the era in those days was different,it also was a different way of living.When my mom meet him he was 49 and she was 21.He wanted to do alot for her and her first born child that was not his,and to be honest he did alot for me even in death.My dad served in World War ll,where he also was a musican,and won a metal of honor,She told me,that when my grandfather first met him,he like him right off the back,and told her that this was the one.But my grandmother didn't like him for reasons I won't go into.Anyway,when my mom found out she was pregnant she told him and he was very,very happy,because I was his first child.She said that he use to come home with big giant donuts,and cookies and would eat them all up.He had some heart problems,and from eating so many sweets all the time,he became a diebetic,which eventuality killed him,dieing from a heartattack.So growing up knowing what I know about my dad,I tried to be that type of guy with my lady friends.Because I feel that there is nothing wrong with making a woman feel special at all times.Now when I was younger not even in my teens yet,I had the older girls trying to get at me...come on now,you know back in the days,lightskin brothers had it going on,we were the in thing,I don't know what the hell happen since then LOL.But it was cool and it was also cool if you looked mixed with something,other then just the lightskined color.I was very shy coming wouldn't beleave how shy,but once I came out of my shell,it was a wrap.In my teens,when katts was out on the corner selling there dope,I was out baggin the badest chicks I could find.I eventuality followed the music like my dad,and played the drums in school bands,hoping that my fathers talent would some how rub off on me...Nah,I was alright with them,just know jazz player...that's for sure.But god had a different plan for me,he blessed me with the skill to write music instead.So I did that for a good while,I'll say from 14 til about 30,is when I stop writing music.I was yes...a rapper,and was pretty damn good once upon a time.I did the Apollo in NYC 3 times,was on tour,did blockparty's,jams,weddings,club proformances,talent show,whatever you can think of,I did.It was the best part of my life,I really enjoyed myself,There's nothing in the world like write some music at home and then taking it somewhere,where people can hear you live and inconcert,and they are feeling what you wrote...Man that's better then any drink,any high,any anything,that you can think of.Man I can tell you some storys.People treating you like royalty,you getting paid for something you wrote,traveling from city to city,radio,TV,taking a different girl home every nite...Man those was the days,meet other artists,fans screamin Go cutie,Go cutie LOL.The only thing that really bothered that my moms never got a chance to see me,I think she would've been proud.I mean she is proud of me,but let's just say I wish she could have seen me...just one time or my kids for that matter :( Yeah,I was real close to a recording deal...but no cigar.But I mean I'm good with it...Hey,at lease unlike some of these young katts out here,I can say that I did it,been there and done that,and I would do it all over again if I had the chance.Again Life's little curve ball!

Yo haterz,Hi ya doing!!!!

Yo haterz where you at, Oh my bad you motherfuckaz are everywhere,everywhere that I need you to be & some places I don't. But no matter where the you are, you motherfuckaz make me shine. I need you like I need a pretty woman, a pocket full of money,a nice big house,a fat whip,a loving family,some friends that give a damm about me,oh bad I already have all those things,and if I can recall some of you motherfuckaz was there along the way of me getting most of those things.You niggaz actually help push me into getting most of them.So that's why I need you to stay on your job,because if you helped me get this far,shit why stop now. I need you to tell me that I can't do this,or that.Because if you are not telling me these things maybe I wouldn't be as driven as I am to prove you wrong.So keep up the good work & PLEASE don't lose your job, I depend on you,so stay up & hold it down,don't stop keep it moving, & by all means keep hating.

My kids!!

My kids are my life,I have two a girl and a boy,I spend time with them,play with them,talk to them,laugh and cry with them,all in all I love my kids,The only thing I don't like is that I'm along distance dad,which can be hard sometimes because I feel that my kids need more of me,and I know that I need more of them,Another thing that bothers me is the fact that no matter how good of a father I am I know that at lease one of my kids mother like to talk bad about me in front of my daughter, which is now making my daughter not want to be bothered with me,Now as a father I have been there for her as much as I should,meaning getting her every summer or every other summer,calling her on the phone every weekend,sending her clothes,bikes as well as paying child support on time,But yet I am still talked bad about from her mother,It's make me fucking sick sometimes,because I can understand if I was doing nothing for my child,you doing these thing like talking bad about me and such,But I'm there for you,I'm doing what I am suppose to for my child,And now with all that was said my child seems to hate me,And that shit pisses me off,As many fathers as there is NOT in they're kids life,as much as I had wished my father was there for me, you pull this shit,What kind of mother are you,what kind of example are you setting for our child,It's bad enough that kid today have very little guidedance as it is,Young girls trying to be grown,sexy,out having sex and making baby's at a young age 9,10,11,12,13,14,showing nude pictures of themselfs on the internet and shit,And mostly because there is no father in there lifes,And lets now begain to talk about the boys,I keep telling myself that with time it will get better,But sometime I don't see it,Now my son is a different story, he loves his daddy, seems that he could never get enough, and I love that because that my son,I just wish that my daughter acted the same way as her brother,Now don't get me wrong, me and my sons mother don't get along that great ether but she knows that I'll do anything for my kids so that not an issue,So lady's let the father of your child be a father, if you see that's what he is trying to be,Don't be childish and say things like you'll never see your child again,or talk bad about him to your child,There are not many men in the world that are trying to be a father as it is,So if he's trying to be one let him be one,We don't need another fatherless child in the world,And as for my kids I love them and will always be there for them no matter what,And as for my daughter, babie daddy still love you,but it hurts me when you treat me the way you do,and I'll be there when you need me always...That's real talk....holla....1one!!!!!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Who am I!!

I've come along way in this life of mine,been through more then I wanted to.But as I look back on things,I see that it has made me a better person,I love who I am,although I feel that there is still room for improvement.Through the grace of God,I am still here,I am still pushing forward,
still achiveing goals set by me.My children are filled with love,and my family is stronger then ever.We all as a people go through ups & downs in life,But it's how you deal with it that makes you a better person or not.We all have a story to tell,some more harder then others,We all go
through things,some more harder then others.But we all as people wish we didn't have to go through anything at all,But then that would make this a perfect world,which we all know is not.Life's curve balls,can go left or right,one day you can be on top of the world,and the next it can feel like you just fell into a bottomless pit.Who you surround yourself with can also make a difference,We all can use positive people around us at all times,But there are still many devilish people out there that don't want to see you make it,or pull it off.I've set goals for myself that I did not complete,not that I didn't try,but maybe for whatever reason was just not for me to complete,and had people there,telling me that I wasn't going to make it or why even bother trying.But it only made me try even more harder,I don't let others dictate what they think I should or should not do or can do.And I don't need people around me,that only want to see me fail.What I see in myself, is much more then what you see in me,In my mind,I can do anything,as long as I put in the work,as long as i'm trying to,and as long as I want to keep on pushing for it,I can do it.What I've been through in this life,has tought me to appreciate the things that I want and have.I am a very strong person,and you can not stop me,or move me,or bring me down.I don't know how to quit,it is not in me to.I am a force to be recken with,And when yousee me on it,make way,because I'm coming through.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Type katt is he!

Type katt is he...He that type katt you hate for no reason,you see him and instantly you judge him,as if you already know him or something,Oh, who this nigga is,he ain't from around here,That nigga think he all that,look at how he dressed,who he think he is.OK LET"S FIND OUT...He that type katt that been through hell and back,You know the type...the one when he was a kid watched his youngest brothers father burn his oldest brother feet with scolden hot water leaving burn flesh around the tub like a dirty ring, because his mother refuse to marry his sick ass,that type katt that watched his moms get abused by different boyfriends she dated,as he and his siblings stood helplessly because they were to young to stop it.Type katt,that grew up in a single parent home,as most kids these days do.Type katt that lived in rat infected homes,with little to no food at all,sometimes splitting a candy bar for dinner because mom had no money for food.Type katt that got jumped almost everyday just because he looked different(not black) Type katt,that had much of nothing growing up,Chrismas.. much of nothing,Birthdays..much of nothing..Thanksgiving..maybe something..if we were lucky..Not sayin he had a bad mother...But saying somethings in his life she did wrong or backwards,because her mother did things in her life that was wrong or backwards.Type of katt that was made strong,and molded strong by a strong black woman.A woman that had a rule about her kids,and that rule is as followed,If you have a problem with either of my children,you bring it to me.Don't take it apon youself to chasties my kids.One lady didn't hear about that rule,and had to learn the hard way.Type katt that was raised by a HARD ass woman,meaning she was mom when you needed mom,but she also was dad because dad wasn't around.Type katt,that learn about hustlin from his mom,she was a pro,had many different I.D's with many different looks & names.And totally ripped the welfare department off of 1000's of dollars,then life started changing.Moms straight turned gangster,started packin dat fire,rollin wit her click,Sit her kids down and told them raw dogg,If either of you become a fagget...I'll put a bullet in ya head...type shit!Type katt that had no choice but to be a man... all man,Type katt that was tought everything,how to cook,clean,wash,iron,sew and how to hustle all the basic skills to survive.Type katt that was always the favorite in his mothers eye,which was noticable to his siblings and also caused jealousy between them.Type katt that had to fight his own brothers like enmies in the street.Type katt that people always say to"Why don't you ever smile" Type katt that has broken the cycle of( this is my favorite child) with his own two kids a girl & a boy both of the same name just spell differently.Type katt that is apart of both his kids lifes,because they are his, and he wants to be for them what his father couldn't be,not because he didn't want to be there,but because his life was took before he could see his only child.Type katt that's a go getta,that make things happen instead of waiting for them to happen.Type katt that's hard working,and knows the value of God, family,love,money,true friends,commitment,honesty,loyalty,sacrifice...Type katt that women love to be around,and talk to,and wish they could have,Type katt that conducts himself like a man,because he pasted that boy stage along time ago,Type katt that knows what he wants, when he wants it,and will push hard to get it at all cost,Type katt that ain't got time for that bullshit.. none,Type katt that will step to you like a man,but don't step to him any old kind of way... trust that,it won't be nice.Type katt that came from alittle of nothing,but wanted more and became something,That's that type katt is he!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The clock is Ticking!

The clock is ticking,and time waits for no man,days go by,then months,and years just as fast.Kids are growing,soon they'll be adults,boy how time fly's.I use to look in the mirror and see a handsome young man,now when I look into the mirror, I see an older gentleman.Wise in wisdom,knowledgeable in life,who's achieved many things,and lost quite a few.Trying to pass the torch to the youth,because the clock is ticking,and time waits for no man.But do they want to know about life,I think not!You see most do not see a future, they just live for the day.And most live as if there is no tomorrow.But if they just stop,and open there eyes,and look around them,They will see that we are already in the future.And that now is the time to get there lifes right,for you can achieve everything ,and anything,that you put your mind to.But none want to do that,it's too much work they say.This generation is the lazyist,and sadist that I've ever seen.Technology is part of the reason that our kids are so lazy.Kids don't go outside and run and play as we did when we were young,all they do is sit in front of the TV and play video games all day,or do whatever on myspace,The computers are taking the minds of our kids,to the point where they just don't know what fun really is.And i'm not saying that all kids are this way,but a huge amount of kids are.Crime,gun play,robbing,stealing,hurting,killing are just fun and games to most kids.And you say, this is our future.Remember when you was young and crack started taking over,alot of women that was on crack at the time,was selling there body's to buy the drug,and in turn had baby's,Well now the baby's are grown up,which is one of the reasons why there's so much crime,and volence today.And there are so many other reason why as well,Let's look at society,so many color hating people walking up and down the streets,so much volence and sex in the movies,volence and sex in our music,gay marrages,gay television programs,building more jails.What the hell is going on here,and you wonder why so many people are fucked up.It is just as I stated,a program.You see the more it's in your face,the more you see it,and let's be real, it's been in your and my face as well as everyone else face for a very long time,programing us.Let's say you were born,but had no parents,and is being raised by a madd scientist,who since you were a baby,has put these type of television type of eye glasses on your face from the time you was a baby until,let's say 30 years old,now here's the catch,all that was played on the television eye wear was nothing but volence,around the clock 24-7 day & night.Now take the eye wear off,and set him free,being programed from a child until an adult,What do you think he's going to do when he get's out into the world, and being around people.He's proably going to be the worse killer you have ever seen.Which is the point that I'm trying to make,With all the volence,and sex,and crime we see on a daily basis in movies,in our music,on television.Now it ain't 24-7 day & night that we have to watch this,because unlike the person I was speaking of,we have a choice to at some point turn it off,But because some of us are weak people we still become programed not 24-7,but little by little,and a weak minded person will crack quicker then a strong minded person,so there you go Mr.Crazy running down the street doing everthing imaginable, and with so many people in this population,How many Mr.Crazy's do you think there are.And there are still many more reasons as to why,But I won't bore you with it,I just want to say that,the clock is ticking!

You are my brothers,My love for you will never change!

Momma called us her three kings,and we are that,in our own right, kings.You are my brothers,and I will forever love you,and die for you if need be.In spite of our differences,what we agree on or disagree on,you are still my brothers,my love for you will never change.We've been through alot togather,as well as individually,We've always been there for each other,through goodtimes and bad.Weather at times I get on your nerves,or you get on mine,we are still brothers,my love for you never changes.At times we may see things differently,life,love,how you feel we were raised,money issues,how we raise our family's,how we condust ourselfs...regardless of what is, we are still bothers my love for you will never change.You are my brothers, that will never change,even if you treat me different,or say things behind my back,I'm man enough to let you act the way you are,and still love you as my brother,because my love for you will never change.You could never again called me,or want to be bothed with me in anyway,shape or form...but to me you are still my brother,my love for you will never change.Although we are brothers and come from the same mother,we are very much different and many ways,but what you do to me,don't mean that I have to do the same to you.You see what I feel in my heart is unlike what you feel in yours,My love for you is stronger,deeper.You are all that I have,all that I know,all that I want to have as far as brother go,can't no one replace you.You are and will always be a part of me,even in death,you will still be my brother,and my love for you will never change.There's no one in this world,that I would rather share a laugh with,or look back over old times with,or just be around sometimes with,then my brothers.Help you when you fall,be that voice of reason for you,or even something as simple as watching a game togather.Because once all that is gone,theres nobody to share that with,like your brother can.You can't change me or the way that I feel about you..because you are my brothers,my love for you will never change.That's just the brother that you have in me..and the brother you will see when one king meets another king again....Brothers til the end!